Let’s get ready to rrrrruuuuummmmbbbbbllllle!

On Tuesday Americans (or at least a small portion of them) will be heading to the polls to select the least bad options to move the country in the right direction.  If current polls are to believed, and that is always a big ‘if’, the country looks like it will be moving in the Right direction.   While every election season seems to follow the similar downward trajectory toward dirty-tricks, demagoguery, and disenfranchisement, this latest episode in democracy feels even scrappier and mangier than usual.  It seems only a matter of time before the U.S. Congress begins to follow the parliamentary procedures of Ukraine.

As such it is only fitting that Linda McMahon of WWE fame is running for political office (to be senator of Connecticut).   But wait….and now entering the ring, here comes the fearful dynamic duo of Stephen “Puss” Colbert and Jon “Boots” Stewart with their Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.  Take that, Glenn Beck.

However, if you are sick of the mosh pit and just want to walk away from the food fight, then you may want to pour yourself a hot cup of water, steep your favorite tea bag and bury your nose in P. J. O’Rourke’s latest book, Don’t Vote It Just Encourages Them.  Yeah, that’ll show ‘em.

If reading makes your lips hurt, then you make your position statement the reclined position and watch Election, Bob Roberts or Bulworth.

And finally, so as to not let sarcasm have the final word, in times like these we would all benefit from the wit and wisdom of Will Rogers.  You will soon come to appreciate that times like these have always been times like these.

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Here is the sixty-seventh edition of Tom Nob’s Thursday Notes. TN2 serves as a brief summary of what good humor we have found during the past week plus some suggestions for the upcoming weekend.

New Films

Opening in N.Y. this weekend and select cities thereafter is Punching the Clown, a pseudo-autobiographical film about a satirical singer-songwriter trying to survive in the dog-eat-dog world of entertainment.  Whew, that’s a whole lot of hyphens.  Based on reviews, this sounds like a flick that we would enjoy.

New TV Season

Blue Mountain State – season two

New Stand-Up

Bo Burnham:  Words Words Words

And Finally

Reporting on the latest Ig Nobel Awards last week has made us more attentive to the (often unintended) humorous aspects of serious research.   In particular, there have been two research summaries that have recently given us a good chuckle.  The first is research which has found that physicians who use profanity in front of their patients improve the lines of communication and enable the “full spectrum of language.”  This, of course, is a Saturday Night Live skit just waiting to happen.    The second is a psychology study which attempted to assess the gender differences in offering apologies.  Coming as no surprise to anyone, women were much more likely to offer or expect an apology than are males.   However, the difference was not that guys are pig-headed knuckle-draggers but rather that women are much more prone to view a situation as offensive.  And so, you merge these two together and what you have is the conclusion that men, through their inevitable offensiveness, unlock the full spectrum of language embodied within the female species.  Just like a forest fire is needed to germinate new seeds.

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Here is the sixty-sixth edition of Tom Nob’s Thursday Notes. TN2 serves as a brief summary of what good humor we have found during the past week plus some suggestions for the upcoming weekend.

New Films

Opening in the U.S. this weekend is Red, yet another action-comedy based on a comic book.  This one has an all-star cast and is getting good reviews.   On the other end of the spectrum, if not the world, is Samson and Delilah, an Australian survival love story about two Aboriginal teenagers that is being released in the U.S.  This is one of those films that makes effective use of humor to help you endure a rather grim journey.

New TV Show

Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time

New Books

Travels in Siberia by Ian Frazier

And Finally

All the hoo-haw about China protesting the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to an incarcerated dissident has diverted attention from the worthy recipients of this year’s Ig Nobel Awards administered by the good folks at Improbable Research.   Here are the advancements in research that were deemed to be the 2010 winners in the following categories:

ENGINEERING PRIZE: research perfecting a method to collect whale snot, using a remote-control helicopter.

MEDICINE PRIZE:   research discovering that symptoms of asthma can be treated with a roller-coaster ride.

TRANSPORTATION PLANNING PRIZE:   research using slime mold to determine the optimal routes for railroad tracks.

PHYSICS PRIZE:   research demonstrating that, on icy footpaths in wintertime, people slip and fall less often if they wear socks on the outside of their shoes.

PEACE PRIZE:  research confirming the widely held belief that swearing relieves pain.

PUBLIC HEALTH PRIZE:  research determining by experiment that microbes cling to bearded scientists.

ECONOMICS PRIZE:   research creating and promoting new ways to invest money — ways that maximize financial gain and minimize financial risk for the world economy, or for a portion thereof.

CHEMISTRY PRIZE:  research disproving the old belief that oil and water don’t mix.

MANAGEMENT PRIZE:  research demonstrating mathematically that organizations would become more efficient if they promoted people at random.

BIOLOGY PRIZE:   research scientifically documenting fellatio in fruit bats.

Click here to read more about these awards.

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Here is the sixty-fifth edition of Tom Nob’s Thursday Notes. TN2 serves as a brief summary of what good humor we have found during the past week plus some suggestions for the upcoming weekend.

New Films

A couple of British films are being released in the U.S. this weekend that you might want to check out.  The first is Tamara Drewe, a modern re-working of Thomas Hardy’s Far From the Madding Crowd, directed by Stephen Frears.  The second is Down Terrace, a darkly comic gangster flick.

New Stand-Up

Bill Burr:  Let It Go

New Books

At Home:  A Short History of Private Life by Bill Bryson

And Finally

Last week, we provided you with the opportunity to prove your chops as a propagandist.   Without any further ado, here is the response from Tom Nob member Lauren Alexis Wood.  Take it away Lauren…

If Lauren Alexis Wood was dictator for a day:

Back Story: Lauren Alexis Wood was born into a family of outlaws, who incidentally left her behind in a locked kitchen cabinet late one evening during an FBI raid of their secret criminal hideout. She lived 8 years in that cabinet survivng on moss and the company of small rodents. On the eve of her 9th birthday she was found by a pack of feral dogs who had infiltrated the years-old abandoned apartment. They freed the lock and immediately took her in as one of their own.  After several months in the wild, she quickly caught on to the secret pack mentality and helped the pack become the supreme ruling pack amongst all the animal kingdom in that particular tri-state region. That would be her first taste of power, but most certainly not her last. Lauren Alexis Wood later went on to Harvard, graduating Suma Coom Lawdly or whatever that is when you like do really good and get good grades and stuff. Like honor roll for fucking SURE! She slowly advanced her way into small regional leadership positions until the present day where she remains supreme dictating ruler super awesome happy fun boss of everything everywhere ever in this particular “what-if” situation.

Special Powers: The ability to speak to all animals using a secret form of sign language, the ability to read minds… all minds… like even plants and shit, the ability to fly, the ability to swim super fucking fast, the ability to read upside down, the ability to DJ, the ability to party, the ability to shit solid gold bricks, the ability to snap her fingers and have whatever either she or anyone she is currently hanging out with at the time wants just appear out of thin air kind of like in those State Farm Insurance commercials or whatever, it’s one of those insurance companies, she also has the ability to make like the best fucking Mexican food ever.

Accomplishments: Third runner up in the Killeen, Texas 27th Annual Beauty AND Brains Musical Abilities Pageant.

Leadership Style: She has someone who does that for her.